S.I. Relocation Transit System
Item No. 60098
Novice's Guide To Villains
Item No. 60085
Gift Certificate
Item No. 0100
Folding Cane
Item No. 11602
For faking civilian walking ailments. Contains a compass.
Mild Manner
Item No. 7-8880
Oh, don't mind me. No, really. Don't.
Secret Identity T-Shirts
Item No. 001-760
Dressing like a bore takes a lot of practice.
Ease into civilian fashion.
Secret Identity Kits
Item No. 4.44-7.08
Be considerably less than you can be!
For inconspicuous movement in civilian circles. Each kit contains a Registration Form, Troubleshooting Guide, FAQ, Signature Practice Sheet, and more.
NOTE: The Secret Identity Naturalization Office is now closed Thursdays.
Suave Airline Pilot
Item No. 008-9956
See the world while enjoying the suavest position on the flight crew. Gravelly mumble not included. Remember: never refer to your airline's service as an "experience."
Selfless Firefighter
Item No. 004-790
Save lives, rescue kittens, and look cool in enormous, fire-proof pants.
NOTE TO FLYING HEROES: Sliding up the pole will give you away.
Secretive Doctor
Item No. 002-101
Be as secretive, vague and perfunctory as you want. "Well," they'll say, "you went to school for 12 years. You must know what you're doing."
Mysterious Astronaut
Item No. 009-5555
"What happened to you out there?" "You've seen things we'll never see." "You're a national treasure."
Houston, you've got a great life.
Cranky Head Chef
Item No. 004-790
Fine wines, finer sauces and free meals. And all you have to do is get mad when no one stocks the asparagus or some philistine puts ketchup on your masterpiece.
Cocky Fighter Pilot
Item No. 006-1112
That's right, Iceman! I am dangerous! Roger, I got him, contact, 20 left at 30 miles, he's going into a negative dive, Mayday, Mayday, over! OK, so this one's not low profile.